The morning I woke up just like I came out of coma. My just-got-over dream was far beyond away from me but I could picture few glimpses of it. It was a circle, circle of anxiety, circle which was not letting me go out, circle in which I was not ‘me’, circle to demean everything, circle to cherish of becoming an oppressor, circle where I persuade my inside kid to suppress his feelings about the harebrained and atrocious world, circle what we drew around our life to imprison our self, circle to ignore our human-perspective, circle to treasure the truth!
When I rooted the new essence to find myself and came little far outside the circle, unexpectedly, she took the light away. I was trembling inside and thinking ‘could I miss someone so badly?’ I was mumbling like a dog on a half-way run. I realized what it feels to be outside of circle. I can’t go back now. I decided that I won’t stop. The sky is so much bigger than her. The circle extends to limitless and I could see this puppet world living under the sun, walking like a snail and smiling like a cocoon.
Then I looked around in a circle, people sitting on a wooden stool, eating chocolaty cake for this big night, patting neighbors’ back by saying ‘Good Job’, laughing like a kid and sharing the memory, the journey, the moments, the achievements, the future plans and the happenings.
If I could bring back every second of show I would be more than happy to be slapped again and again as a kid for the audience. I certainly realized the power of the kid scene when someone from the audience hugged me so tight after the show and all I felt was melted! Basically what defines a boy when he never shows what he feels and that’s how men are supposed to be. Yes, they have feelings; yes they need hug; yes they wish someone would be by their side; yes they like to share; and yes, they cry.
If I combine all the stories from the show then a boy-life would be described as struggling from the womb, wrapped up with world’s responsibility, ultimately helpless but not allowed to shed a drop of tear because it could be misinterpreted for weakness. Boys are supposed to be strong.
Does it seem to be abbreviating psychopath when we abuse the innocent guy who just wants to go to the path where he feels he belongs, doesn’t matter whether it’s a girly profession or manly. We saw the rage and hatred for us on his eyes. He didn’t want to argue, he wanted to fight, he wanted to beat all of us and he wanted to teach us a lesson. As actors, we could feel proud that we successfully portrayed our character. But there was a challenge when he started arguing with definitive and sensible facts and we couldn’t answer. After all, we felt we are not really an oppressor in our real life. Is it true? No, it’s not. At this point, I will agree with our artistic director that we all are oppressor at some point of our life. That’s why we performed ‘A theatre for Oppressor’ or ‘Forum Theatre’.
Of course, the epic performance was accomplished on a node where it always meant to be but there are so many small but impactful decisions and stories which made it larger. Those sacrifices and contributions makes me realize that we are all good people who live an average life style, equipped with average skill but great dedication, in an average world to earn a special moment.
Yeah, I am running now for a bus to resume my average week!
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