Few months back, I participated in a game which was organized inside my theatre arena. According to the game rule, one must stand to top of the stool kept on a bench by facing to the wall. Rest of the players should be positioned themselves in pairs and perpendicular to the bench just from the back of first person. The pair should stand on their knees by facing each other in a linear manner one after one. Each member from the pair had kept his/her hand on their partner’s shoulder to make the bridge aligned with first person’s body length.
Once the required arrangement was completed, the instructor Vishal Bhandary told the first person to fall back with his closed eyes on the bridge. It was a bit of confusion and we almost were amused once we heard ‘fall back’. So, we asked the instructor to confirm whether he meant the same. He understood the perplexity of the situation and said,
“Yeah, you heard it right. Just fall back! It’s easy, isn’t it?”
A silence amplified the tension of the entire hall. People on the ground became alert because it was their responsibility to save the first person from hitting the ground. The person, stood on the top, closed his eyes and tried to lean back for the free-fall ride but he couldn’t do it in his first attempt. The instructor asked him immediately about his hesitancy,
“What happened? Why did you stop? Don’t you trust your team?…. They will catch you, don’t worry!”
“No, it’s not like I do not trust them. I feel if they missed then my body would hit the ground. I might hurt myself!”
After hearing this, the instructor immediately came in action, quickly grabbed few of thick mattresses and put it under the bridge made by arms. He, then faced to the first person,
“Now, can you fall?”
First person turned back, closed his eyes and bent his back to make the fall but again he failed. The instructor asked,
“What happened now? You have full protection on the ground where your teammates are holding hands for you and two persons are standing right aside of stool to make sure nothing goes wrong. Still you can’t fall back. Why?”
“Ideally, I should but I couldn’t. Maybe I am scared!”
“Scared of what?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t.”
Then the instructor marked words,
“It does not only about trust your friends or teammates but this also demands to let go of you.”
After this statement, everyone jumped to go for ‘falling back’ and ‘catching the fallen’ tasks. But it was still not that easy. If you would ask me my falling experience I would conclude by saying,
There was a major tension just before I was supposed to flick away my body to my back. I accumulated all my courage but it was not about that. The moment I happened to fall some part of brain commanded me to hold myself. In this dilemma, I let go of myself with 50 percent of surety. Yes, I was saved by my fellow actors but it was indeed a hard task to perform.
As we grow in our world, we use to live in the system where we hold everything inside us including our emotions, actions, reactions, thoughts, moments, experiences and, most importantly, ourselves. We never let ourselves go to begin any motion, to take risks, to challenge ourselves and to let the happenings flow.