Love Haunts You

Love Haunts You

You must be wondering after looking at the headline,

“Oh, this is ambiguous!”

And after this thought, you would have speculated that he might have failed in love or somebody has betrayed him; that’s why he is coming up with this topic.

I won’t deny all those predictions or judgmental words from you. I accept

“Yes, I failed even after I thought that I found ‘the one’!”

If I want to find the reason behind it I can’t blame anyone but me.

You see when you are in love everything seems dreamy and most of the time your mood tends to be in a happy mode without any specific reason. Then you look inside your fantasy world where everything is perfect. Then this universe makes you believe whatever happens here it has a connection with something. And you start believing in all those ‘signs’. Signs – you definitely would have seen several movies where two fools meet each other and at the end, when their worlds are going apart, the universe gives them some signal that he/she is ‘The One’. They follow those signals, they find each other and they live blah blah blah!

Apparently, few lovers learn from the movies and they try to see all those incidents as a beginning of a love story.. Oh, their ‘epic’ love story! To be clear, I was not among all those lovers. But yeah, I was a blind believer of ‘Signs’.

When you are in love – for real – you want to find a connection with that ‘one’ whatsoever. You search for all those silly dots such as, same juice; ginger tea; moved to the same city after so many years of separation; etc. Later, you go to an imaginary world and lose yourself in her dreams. Then you write poems even if you don’t know how and create stories casting yourself as a hero. These all add up to your immature sense that whispers to your ear ‘The One’.

Around this hotchpotch, we ignore few simpler facts about ‘the one’. Like in my case, I knew that she was not coming back, I knew that she was not in love with me, I knew that she probably loved someone else, I knew that she didn’t care what I had been doing or how I was, I knew that she would get married to her choice and everything would be over even our friendship. But still, I went for it. I told myself that I was ready to fail. You know why? Because somewhere deep in my heart I could see hope and it was all because of those ‘signs’. For example, whenever I really wanted to share any good news she messaged unknowingly at the same time; there was no regular communication between us in those days. Like this, there are so many ‘signs’ I caught. And yes, you all are right, it was silly!

I remember the day when she gave me her marriage card and at that moment, I felt like a giant hammer with sharp end hit my head. But I was normal; because I was looking at her and she was happy that transforms my selfish pain into a smile. We chatted on that busy road nearby the flyover. As soon as, I left for my office I lost control. I wanted to cry but I was on the crowded bus at the peak hour. I needed to let go of emotion and after thinking for a while, I sent her a message to let her know about my feelings toward her. From that day, we never met. It has been more than 8 months. Ultimately, I destroyed our friendship. I can’t blame her for obvious reasons.

So now, I stopped believing in signs. Love is the greatest expression in the whole universe but it haunts you when you put shackles of ‘Signs’ around your mind. Anyways, this is only my opinion!

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