So, last eve of 2015, most of my friends and colleagues were excited to celebrate with some booze, friends’ hangout and get together. Welcoming 2016 was so important that they started planning for this day from months.
The situations are such which are neither bad nor explainable as good. Last few days have been passed just like that and I didn’t try to plan for the greatest beginning of welcoming year. Honestly on an emotional level, I was stoic, tied up with uncertainty, uninformed as for the separation of my heart and mind, and curled up for an unknown journey filled with little drops of joy, fear, pain, sorrow, excitement and untimed smile!
Since I introduced many negative emotions, “What was the reason behind my repulsive attitude against any emotions?”
365 days are gone and I – like the biggest over-thinker in the world – was still walking on the road with my Theatre friends. They kept asking me on what I was pondering over. I had no words in reply. Instead, a scene from few days back was flashing on my mind.
A girl of age around 13 years, with her cousin brother, met me in person after the show and said, “You were truly amazing on the stage. Your jokes and timings were wonderful. I really loved watching the show.” I was flattered with these lines. Certainly, we theatre people are not used to these kinds of appreciations very often. I acknowledged and thanked them with a smile. Few seconds later, they asked me for a picture with them.
For some reasons, this particular incident was rolling on my mind. And I had no idea why!
Suddenly, I pondered over my progression in one year and I realized that all I received at the end are the words in terms of appreciation, disgustingly hurting ignorance, clichéd intervention, shared moments of charm, right or wrong discussion, listening to this world with many unfortunate as well as awesome stories and balancing the daily life hotchpotch. At this moment, I do not see any big difference as far as progress is concerned (Some resolutions were actually broken but that’s not an issue).
I could call myself a lone warrior but there is nothing to show as a trophy. Still, there were many proud moments I could remember but what the significance of those times was. Like everyone else, I am really worried about my future. Ahhh.. People who know me can wonder now “What happened to this Happy-Go-Lucky guy?”
Apparently, I was called with many names for certain occasions which are sarcastic, one liner man, lost in thoughts when in group, ambivert, straight forward, calm head, mystery inside, good listener and even good talker for 2 or lesser people: Yes, I often talk to myself aloud. Okay, there are many positive traits I possess but everyone should know that
Every attribute I have developed over the period of time has a long history!
I am not going into details of history but for me, what I have actually generated is Self-Defense Mechanism. Not because the society is bad; no, surrounding is okay and filled with same kind of colors where everyone is living. This Self-Defense Mechanism is created to keep me assured that everything is in the right place and happiness is the only key what the entire human kind wants to achieve. I have no idea whether I am going in right direction but I sensed that happiness is yet too far.
Few days back I made a statement
The word ‘Miracle’ should not mean as unexplainable but wonderful happenings. Because in this world, from the start of the day whatever a human does from standing, walking, etc is miracle. Either incident is a miracle or none at all.
See, I just proved that everything is a miracle hence, we should be happy about anything we do even if we do it wrong. Hmmm, I can’t cope up with normal world rules, can I?
So, 2015 has spoken with a big heart
“You are perfect in every way for an ideal world. But in this world, you are lying to yourself. Grow up Kid!”
What did your 2015 year say to you? Share if you want! Till then…
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