“You need to get into the game man!” my friend suggested over the call. He was extremely excited as he had a date with his former college friend a few days back. They went to watch Wonder Woman (A perfect movie for a date). I responded,
“I don’t want to be in that game. And anyway, for these things, I have to have some additional time and it didn’t work with all other responsibilities like theatre, office, personal goals and dreams; not for me.” I said while going through all the layers of talk we have had all these years about the Game of Love.
I was thinking:
Why it has to be a game and since when? As long as I remember understanding Love, it always starts with:
You like a person for whatever reasons (beauty, intelligence, funny, etc)
You go and talk to that person
If the person likes you, you both would go on a date, second date and so on
As your interest in that person developed more, you realised that both of you have been spending so much time together
While struggling/ruling the daily routine hiccups and work, you both never forget to do loads of activities ranging from the silliest to the most spiritual
And one day, you both met as usual for a tea session. While sipping you glance over him/her who was looking somewhere else and you say
“Hey, can I tell you something?”
“I love you.”
And you are not expecting or waiting for any kind of reply.
Doesn’t this sound like a perfect dreamy love story? Perhaps, some would feel it to be written by the teenage mind of me. In my opinion, love is this simple despite various personal-level complexities you can think of.
But it’s not reality, is it?
Now, I must introduce the Game of Love (definitely, I am not an expert) by adding many factors on the different levels commencing with
1) Patriarchal Society
As this society tells the man to be superior, there are many unsaid rules come into the picture that are followed by most of the people in both genders. For instances, a boy has to ask the girl for a date; a boy has to impress the girl he likes; a girl should (will) always be in the care of the boy for her needs including protection; etc.
These clauses can be seen with a little modification in different age groups, regions and society standards but more or less, those would be on the same line.
These unsaid rules, which were made by the person named No One, have created an intense competition among both the genders commencing the mind games as if they are playing a game of chess.
You will see many people claiming that they know in and out of the game:
They say the right thing at the right time, they play with other gender’s mind, they show extra care, they become suddenly insensitive, they will be overly generous, they know the meaning of chivalries and believe in it, they see their own definition of ‘gentleman’, they believe in options, they want to have the power to choose or reject or in fact, they don’t want other genders to have power.
It leads to either lust game, true love (in rare cases) or oppressive state.
2) Social Status
These are self-explanatory terms which are unnecessary variables incorporated in the love equation.
The player must have some Social Status otherwise, what would society say
The player should be earning good amount of money or the family should be rich because Love is not enough to feed you or give you enormous tours (and maybe, take photos & videos and post online to make people jealous in your social media feed) you’ve ever dreamed of, bring the luxury lifestyle you’ve craved for your entire life.
4) Family Background
The player should have strong family background otherwise how I would become famous (Mainly, for high society players).
The player should be of same cast or religion because who wants to be in a religious war (This mostly doesn’t become a factor if you are famous).
6) Influence of Movies and TV Programs
We all know how different eras of the movies and TV Programs (I can only vouch for Indian movies and series) have affected the generations. If I talk about the today’s generation 70 mm films and 22-inch episodes it shows that the love is the only job a protagonist has with the millions of abhorring forms of stories (except a few). Highly exaggerated and not even 10 percent real.
After watching all these, a boy/girl would certainly expect something similar in their lovers and life i.e. one more variable is added to make the Love game more complex than ever.
Here, we must note that many of us want true love (at least, they say they do) despite all the factors we take into considerations.
Since the internet came into existence and became popular among even the middle-income societies, the use of the illustrated quote “I love you” is amicably frequent and even became so common with or without hidden motives.
Would this quote be relevant as the time progresses?
Would this quote be able to give same tickle and excitement once said to you?
To get the answer, one of my theatre colleagues – Prasad Punage – have done an experiment for his project (theatre-related).
Experiment on the Relevancy of Saying I Love You
We were seated in the stage-audience setup. Our theatre’s Artistic Director was asked to go on the stage. Then Prasad asked us to go one-by-one on the stage, face her, look in her eyes, say “I love you” and hug her tightly.
The initial reaction just after this request was wonderful. We all went to the stage and did exactly what we were asked for.
The Artistic Director’s post-session feeling was on cloud nine. She was little emotional but expressed her thank in a joyous state.
As for me, I was initially skeptical to hug and say the quote. I decided not to let the inhibition control this moment for me and also, not to act. She is one of my favourite persons in my life; so naturally, the emotion would certainly be genuine. I found that it was easy to step up, look in the eyes, say “I love you” and hug tightly. Obviously, I was soul-stirring and little sentimental as I get to express something I truly want.
That day I realised one more truth that
No matter how insignificant the love would become in this world, it will never ever lose its true meaning when expressed genuinely.
And at some point of our life, we become mature not to let ourselves be in the love game!
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