Complicated, nonsensical, emotional quotient, challenging, saturated, boiling, difficult, incomprehensible….
In the last few days, I came across many such words which are generally used at the time of a big change or an overhaul. And the strange thing is that I already have past my overhaul period and started figuring out the next step.
So, I slid over my phone, tapped on the YouTube app and warmed up my tired eyes for some glimmering videos on emotional quotient (EQ) lecture, teaching and knowledge. Why, you ask?
Just to confirm/reaffirm/be in the illusion that my EQ is high and I wouldn’t be distracted from my goal by any emotional hiccups or events. If those videos wouldn’t give the same result I could blame them for being stupid.
Obviously, after two videos, I stopped watching it. If at all you are curious then I am letting you know that I still don’t know my EQ; I didn’t understand any of theories and I decided not to watch because I really do not want to know.
If the punctuation mark – semicolon – is at the right place then I am aware that my mind is affected by nothing but love. Now, let’s take a detour!
I was at the coffee shop with this girl I like. I was a little nervous but more than that emotional. On the other hand, she was indifferent to any of my body language or behaviour. However, she was listening (I hope so). I had to write a full page in case I forgot. I needed to let her know what she was to me and what she has become for me.
She hardly cared about all this, except the fact I am letting her off my hook as a muse. Two nights before, she already told me that she was not excited about any of our meetings. Not to brag but I knew this as I felt that we have anyway way beyond the first excitement of any date (which never happened); I might have given the impression of me as a self-obsessed person and; she didn’t give me any actual chance. – See how pathetic I sound. You can guess my EQ right here.
I went home that day on foot (I have done that before) in perplexing thoughts. Her feelings towards me may change over the course of time (that’s a hope or a dream).
So, what did I tell her?
She is officially not my muse. Her presence in my life has been like chapters to me that have phases.
What I didn’t tell her was that she is becoming my novel.
Trust me, I have an entire theory for it.
Coming back to the post, we usually face many challenges (relationship, work, personal goals, etc.) in day-to-day life and as a human nature, we like to have either an answer or a solution to straighten our mind. If we can’t find it, our mind will be boggled all the time with many unsettling thoughts and negative whispers.
In my view, the solution is hidden in the timelines of our life, including the future. The only thing we need to identify which solution belongs to what timeline.
To make a little sense of it, consider your life as a big novel with chapters, titles, subheadings, paragraphs, sentences, comma and full-stop.
Remember when you are reading a big novel or story, there are certain points where we are given an unnecessary detail and as you skim forward that information has not been used in a few or many chapters. After some time, you forget about it and move on with events occurring in literary fashion. Suddenly at the least expected time, the information adds the piece together. You are now satisfied. With this, I can certainly concede that any work-related or personal goal problems are often hidden on what we learn or are learning or are about to learn.
Relationship, on the other hand, is a different ball game (coming from the one, who disgracefully fails in love). I replace it with supporting characters introduced in the novel. Any fights or disputes between characters can be explained as well as resolved through the previous relationship graph with the particular character. But sometimes after analyzing the past history, we are still unable to figure things out.
This becomes tricky. Certainly, we do not have all the details; some are missing. Then what do we do? We keep the patience. No matter, how helpless we feel we need to learn to be patient.
I derived this fascinating theory (Even though, I am yet to begin my first novel) and it has changed my perspective to view my life. I hope that ‘Life is a big novel’ theory makes sense to you.
In this process, the interesting part I discovered was that
Our life is a big novel. We are the author. We are the reader.
(Probably, you may not relate to the latter.)
This means we subconsciously and consciously have the manoeuvre buttons to take control of things happening in our life. Do not fret over ‘how to’ part as it comes with experience (which means making mistakes and learning from it). You will find peace.
Take your time to absorb this theory and let me know your thoughts in the comment.
PS: Personally, I feel I have consciously or subconsciously tried to leave an open end for all the important characters that are gone so that they can come back and I will again have a chance to interact with them.
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